“This Program Is An Official Program”

This popped up in the ol’ inbox at work today:

As of the start of the second semester (January 20, 2009), please ensure that the following statement is included on all printed programs and materials accompanying school assemblies and programs (i.e. plays, musical performances, etc.):


            This production (or program) is presented in accordance with CCSD Policy

            and Regulation 6130, Assemblies and Public Programs.


Apparently, this course of action was necessary to clear up all of the confusion in our community caused by the recent rash of unauthorized school assemblies.  Mass rioting in the streets was inevitable, so this heroic measure probably saved our fair town from being reduced to smoldering ashes just in time. 

No doubt that when people attending school events see this new bit of fine print, they’ll breathe a long sigh of relief and rest easy knowing that this activity is in compliance with all official standards.  No more sloppy, underground productions for us! 

On the plus side, surreal drivel like this is what makes me happy to work for the government.  You just can’t expect this kind of entertainment in the private sector. 

I’m reminded of a sign I once saw that read, “This certificate of certification certifiably certifies the certifiee of certifiable certitude.”  Wow, what an honor! 

Perhaps the regulation mentioned in the notice should be called 27b-stroke-6.

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