Alternative Acronyms

Family friendly web sites like this one have long labored under the baneful curse of catchy Internet acronyms, those cheesy shorthand abbreviations that allow us to communicate shallow, generic, vague profanities in a convenient manner.  What are we to do, to avoid picturing unsavory phrases in our mind’s eye when these ubiquitous initials (dis)grace our screens?

Here are some helpful things to keep in mind when you no doubt come across these uncomfortable cringe-inducers:

“WTF?” could also mean:

  • Where’s the fridge?
  • Who toasted flapjacks?
  • Wonderful turtles, Freddy?
  • Wolverines tickle furiously?
  • Walrus toenail fungus?

“OMG!” may better be read as:

  • Orange mutant gas!
  • Original manufacturer’s guarantee!
  • Ostentatious Malaysian germs!
  • Open, my garage!
  • Old Muppets gargle!

You’re welcome.

One comment on “Alternative Acronyms

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