It doesn’t matter if you have a ring on your finger; if you don’t have a date set for the wedding, you’re not engaged.
Women: when you crouch down to pick something up, if you have to reach around behind you with one hand and cover the gap in the waist of your jeans, try buying clothes that fit.
Men: that “faux-hawk” makes you look ridiculous.
Family Guy is not funny.
Bristol Palin can’t dance.
Rolling your eyes, shaking your head, and making sour faces does not constitute an argument.
Being credentialed does not mean you’re educated, and being educated does not mean you’re competent.
Neither Snooki, Katy Perry, nor any of the Kardashians are the least bit attractive.
Someone not agreeing with you, or not helping you, does not mean they’re persecuting you.
“Raising awareness” means nothing.
Both Transformers movies were awful. The third one probably will be, too.
Stephanie Meyer is not a good writer.
Gently Hew Stone 
Stephenie Meyer misspells her name with an “e” in the middle, so her mother couldn’t write either. You disagree with me??! {rolling my eyes} Stop persecuting me!
Avert your eyes while I crouch … no, wait, I’m fully clothed.