The Secret Book of Mormon

NOTICE: The following is SATIRE.  Think about it.

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Here’s the easiest way to know that Mormons don’t really think their Book of Mormon is true: they hide it as much as they can! 

The next time you talk to some Mormon, ask them why nobody but the “worthy” is allowed to even see a copy, not until after they’ve served the church for years and given it a ton of money.  If the Book of Mormon is supposed to be concrete evidence that their beliefs are true, then why keep it under wraps until after people already have “faith”? 

If Mormons really believed that their book was that capable of building and defending their faith, they’d be trying to get everybody in the world to read it.  But since they keep it hidden like some mysterious secret, they must know that if skeptical non-Mormons ever read it, it would be exposed and embarrass them. 

In fact, there are some theories out there that the Book of Mormon doesn’t even exist.  Some scholars think that Mormons made up the whole story about it as a way to fool the gullible, to tease them into working for their church, and by the time these suckers were in deep enough to be shown the text of this alleged book, it was too late–they were hooked.  The few bits and pieces that are publicly quoted have probably been cooked up and revised over the years just to keep the charade going. 

Can you imagine if the Mormons actually ever published the whole book, and invited–even challenged–the whole world to dig into it as deeply as we can, promising that it would not only stand up to analysis, but spiritually convert those who took it seriously?  Even worse, imagine if their church founder had done that back at the very beginning!  That would take some major guts. 

But luckily we don’t have to worry about that.  As long as they keep covering it up, we can rest easy that it’s surely a scam. 

In fact, let’s call them on their bluff.  Confront the next Mormon you see and demand that they give you a copy of this so-called “Book of Mormon” for you to study.  Bet you anything they’ll refuse.  Mormons hate it when people try to read the Book of Mormon.

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