As everyone knows, Abraham Lincoln was a very well educated young man. He became exceptionally fluent in literature and history early in childhood. This was due to the amount of tax dollars the government spent on public education. Federal programs, also, allowed computer technology, multicultural activities, and paid teacher trainings to bless young Lincoln with the massive support structure necessary for anyone to learn anything. Thank goodness there weren’t any budget cuts to threaten the funding for Lincoln’s many years in elementary school! Otherwise, he may not have become such a great leader, and we may never have won World War II!
Next week: How Joining a Union Made Socrates a Better Teacher
Note: for the satire challenged, the truth is that Lincoln, like many great people of years past, had very little formal schooling at all, and educated himself by reading serious classics on his own. Without taxpayer-funded schools or unions! This joke was inspired by this post.