One of my college classes is about to be assigned a process paper to write. I usually word the assignment like this: “Describe in detail a process for performing some activity. Choose an activity with which you are familiar, but with which most other people may not be familiar.”
I used to phrase that last part differently: “…with which you are familiar, but which you think Mr. Huston probably doesn’t know a lot about.”
The problem, of course, is that I ended up reading a ton of essays with titles such as, “How to work out,” “How to impress women,” “How to dress with style,” etc. Guess I left myself open for those.
In a similar vein, I used to show my honors high school classes some of the satirical personals ads from the London Review of Books (things like, “Shy, ugly man, fond of extended periods of self-pity, middle aged, flatulent and overweight, seeks the impossible,” or “To some, I am a world of temptation. To others, I’m just another cross-dressing pharmacist. Male, 41.”) and, as a brief warm-up writing activity, ask them to try drafting a humorous personal ad for a hypothetical person who’d have no real hope of attracting someone.
Too many of them came up with the same idea: “Skinny, sarcastic English teacher seeks someone, anyone, to help him forget what a hopeless loser he is.”
*Sigh* Good one.
Gently Hew Stone 