This Just In: Washing Hands Is Good!

Yesterday, the Clark County School District sent out a second letter to parents about the swine flu.  The letter reassures Mom and Dad that the school cares about little Junior’s health (this, in response to the controversial revelation that a local student had been infected for a week but the CCSD chose not to release this information to the public). 

The letter then offers four items of advice:

  • Wash your hands often with soap and water…
  • Sneeze or cough into a tissue.  Throw the tissue in the trash after use.
  • Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth…
  • If you are sick, stay home.

Such inane cover-your-butt nannying reminds me of a great seventh season Simpsons episode, “Home Sweet Home-Diddly-Dum-Doodly,” in which a misunderstanding gets the kids taken away by the government and Marge and Homer have to attend a basic parenting class:

Goodman: There are a lot of little tricks to it, things you should have
         learned a long time ago.  Such as, if you leave milk out, it
         can go sour.  Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a
         cool wet sack.
          [much later]
         And put your garbage in a garbage can, people.  I can’t stress
         that enough.  Don’t just throw it out the window.
  Marge: This is so humiliating.
  Homer: [writing furiously] “Garbage in garbage can”…hmm, makes


If anyone isn’t washing their hands or covering their mouth when they cough, what in the world makes the health office think that a letter will suddenly wake them up?  “Say, honeybunch, you know how we’re a couple of gross slobs?  Well, this here letter says that we should use a tissue and then throw it away.  Sounds strange but, heck, let’s give it a shot!”

On the plus side for the swine flu letter, though, the reverse side was printed in Spanish, so I got to learn how to say “swine flu” should I ever end up in Mexico: “influenza porcina.”

One comment on “This Just In: Washing Hands Is Good!

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